21 ways you know you grew up in Ireland

If you were lucky enough to grow up on this quirky little island, these very particular food habits might ring some bells.

1. Putting the kettle on is your response to literally everything.

Boredom, shock, sadness, stress, bad news, good news, the morning, the evening, lunchtime, a Tuesday…

2. Tea should be made exactly to your preferences, without even the smallest deviation.

Did you mash the teabag? I SAID NO SUGAR!

3. You’re obsessed with Superquinn sausages.

The panic you felt when SuperValu took over was palpable. The relief when the sausages were unaffected was real.

4. It’s not really a dinner until there are potatoes.

Sure, pasta is great, rice is fine — but it’s spuds that really make a meal. 

5. It’s not really Halloween without colcannon.

Bonus points if there are coins hidden inside.

6. Flat 7up is literally medicine.

You were dosed with it every time you had a tummy bug as a child, and now drinking 7up as an adult makes you feel vaguely ill.

7. You call your kitchen cupboard “the press.”

And going grocery shopping is “getting the messages.”

8. Funerals mean triangular sambos on white sliced pan.

And the selection is always exactly the same. Ham and cheese, egg salad, ham salad, cheese salad, chicken salad, and plain salad for the vegetarians, all liberally spread with both butter and mayo. Vegans go hungry.

9. You call a loaf of bread “a sliced pan.”

But if you’re having toast, batch is best.

10. Butter is mandatory.

It doesn’t matter if there’s mayo involved — or ketchup, or garlic mayo, or taco sauce — butter must also be included in every sandwich. 

11. Butter in basically any other country is a raging disappointment.

Why is it so PALE? 

12. You love carbs on carbs.

Whether it’s crisp sambos, chip butties, 3-in-1s or serving lasagne with both chips and garlic bread on the side.

13. Going for “a pint” never means a single pint.

Ever.

14. You feel vaguely virtuous about choosing a Guinness over another beer.

It is good for you, right?

15. People will assume you’re pregnant or on antibiotics if you order a fizzy drink at the bar.

No matter how much you object.

16. Several of your childhood memories are based in the pub.

Eating bacon fries and drinking TK Red Lemonade while your parents enjoyed a few Sunday afternoon scoops. 

17. There’s a biscuit tin in your Mam’s gaff…

…and it’s full of sewing utensils. We don’t know why. We suspect no-one knows why.

18. The wooden spoon is as much of a threat as it is a utensil.

You spent your childhood living in the absolute fear of it.

19. You have a strong opinion on Tayto vs King.

And another one when it comes to Barry’s vs Lyons.

20. Viennetta was a seriously fancy dessert in the 90s.

Only for special occasions or visitors.

21. You’ve never figured out how to shut your mouth and eat your dinner.

No matter how many times your Mammy told you.